"There are easier things in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell-O to a tree for instance..." -Roseanne
"Dinner is a waste on a first date, because you don't want the guy to see how much you can really eat. He'll find out soon enough that I can put my entire head in a Haagen-Dazs tub." -Maryellen HooperAgain, a word of advise ladies, it's no use trying to keep up appearances because we all know hips don't lie.
"No matter what, Dad was always there with words of advise... 'Go ask your mother'." -Alan Ray
It's nice to see that men throughout the ages have continued to evolve into helpless creatures.
"If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me." -Alice Roosevelt Longworth... the classic frienemy. They look like they might be sweet and caring on the outside but have toxic black mold on the inside and burp up nothing but verbal cancer. So, last but not least, when you go out with that special "friend" of yours next time, don't forget to watch your back.