"KUDOS KOTEX" was my very first post and the beginning of my words-running-wild adventure...
It's the truly simple things in life that add a spring to one's step, smile to the face, sunshine to a rainy day, sugar to the cinnamon, icing on the cake, okay okay you get the point. I found one of those things the other day when shopping for the impending visit of Mother Nature. All of you women out there know exactly what I'm talking about. Every month without fail she shows up like a no-good rotten sister-in-law whose only joy in life is to steal our happiness and make us miserable every second she's around. Several times over the years I've tried to revoke visitation rights to no avail. So back to this simple little thing I found. I was carusing um I mean perusing (I believe I just created a new word combination using perusing and carousing, although I assure you I have never felt like carousing in this particular environment) the pad aisle when my eyes zeroed in on the coolest pad packaging I have ever seen. Don't let anyone ever tell you product marketing doesn't work! I believe Kotex U has perfected this very trick!
It was a sleek matte black box, the size of a recipe box to be precise. Unlike the boxes of old that were the sterile color of stark white and the size of a small hope chest screaming, "SANITARY NAPKIN ANYONE?!?! HOW 'BOUT YOU SIR, YES YOU, THE MAN WHO IS STANDING BY MY CART TRYING NOT TO NOTICE!! OR RATHER YOU YOUNG MAN RINGING ME UP AT THE CASH REGISTER, SURELY YOU WOULD LIKE A PAD!!!"
No, this one was what I consider a work of art with an awesome artistic gloss black circle-y swirl all over it. I might add here that the same circle-y design is imprinted on the actual pad themselves in the mood uplifting color of electric blue. On the front of the box is a little see through window that shows the gorgeous brilliant colored plastic covers that held the pads inside. Not only that but all of the writing on the box is in English and French... FRENCH! Tell me, has any other pad been able to conjure up such mystique in the face of such a dreaded time of the month?!
Thanks to these pads I am now positive it is totally Vogue to have all your parts and pieces working each month. I might even take up learning French! So what if all I can say is "Pare-fruites laterauz doux comme du coton - une protection pleine longueur, vraiment!"* It will sound gorgeous and mysterious rolling off my tongue. Surely an amazing woman from the heart of Paris, with a period of her own, is responsible for such art and ingenious! I plan on displaying them proudly upon my crystal pedestal cake stand on the bathroom counter. And once the box is empty I shall prolong the air of intrigue by using it for a recipe card holder, for after all, you'll recall that's the precise size of the box.
Take a look at these little treasures! Try, just try, to tell me these puppies aren't the epitome of chic period!
Now when you pluck one of these off the shelf you don't have to bury it under that bushel of apples, loaf of bread and super size bag of chips. Put it on the top of the heap and be proud to be a woman!
*English translation: "Cottony soft side barriers - full length protection, for real!"
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been near as menacing if they had called him The Incredible Hank?! I think not!! 
tends to be my language of choice but another good one is 
. You'll notice that I can take 'John' and in a flash obscure his identity with the Spanish name 'Juan'. 
